Precious little Shepherd,
We learned about you a year ago today. One year ago I was getting ready to drive to Nashville, and knowing that I would likely be drinking that evening, decided to take a pregnancy test. I really had no reason to think I was pregnant--I had been dizzy a few times during the week, but all signs pointed to no baby on board. But something told me to check. For some reason, I just felt pregnant. So on a cold Saturday morning in West Lafayette, Indiana, mom called dad to the master bathroom and handed him a little plastic stick that said mom was pregnant. I will never forget the immediate smile that spread across your dad's face when the news registered--his face was pure joy. And then he laughed. While dad was laughing, I began to cry. But Shepherd, please know that I didn't cry out of sadness. No, those tears poured over from the immense love for you that had already filled my heart. You see, dad and I wanted you so very deeply. We prayed that you would join our family, and it was hard to believe that you were really on your way to us. It was so hard to believe, in fact, that mom stopped every few hours along the way to Nashville, taking additional pregnancy tests and sending dad pictures of each. I couldn't get enough of that beautiful second line!
Over the past year, we have loved and protected you as well as we know how. Sheltering you while you developed inside me was such a privilege. Welcoming you to the world was indescribable, and watching you grow and change over the past three and a half months has been a joy. You are a treasure, my son.
I love you so very much,
Mom
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
giggles
I know I've mentioned that Shepherd is a bit of a cryer, but this sweet boy can also light up the room with his smile. Here's proof that sometimes he really is happy:
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
a fond farewell
There have been many years that I was ready to kick out the door, but 2013 is not one of them. This year has been good to me, to our family. There were hard moments, of course, but overall 2013 was most defined by joy.
The first weekend of 2013 we found out we were expecting a much wanted, much loved baby. As the year progressed, we found out that sweet baby was a boy. We watched him grow on ultrasounds, then were privileged to welcome him to the world in September. Since that September morning, we have rocked him, tickled him, kissed his bald head, and become enthralled by him.
2013 saw the twins grow into miniature people. They started talking, then stringing together two words, three words, whole sentences. They became steady climbers and jumpers, game players, adorable manipulators, and fun pretenders.
2013 saw our family move to Nashville, a wonderful and exciting move for us. We end the year closer in proximity to dear family and friends.
And 2013 allowed Andrew and I to celebrate our 7th year of marriage. Another year of learning to be good, kind spouses, of trying to be the best life partners we can through God's grace. Another year of falling in love with one another, of doing our best to support one another.
Cheers to you, 2013. 2014 has a lot to live up to.
The first weekend of 2013 we found out we were expecting a much wanted, much loved baby. As the year progressed, we found out that sweet baby was a boy. We watched him grow on ultrasounds, then were privileged to welcome him to the world in September. Since that September morning, we have rocked him, tickled him, kissed his bald head, and become enthralled by him.
2013 saw the twins grow into miniature people. They started talking, then stringing together two words, three words, whole sentences. They became steady climbers and jumpers, game players, adorable manipulators, and fun pretenders.
2013 saw our family move to Nashville, a wonderful and exciting move for us. We end the year closer in proximity to dear family and friends.
And 2013 allowed Andrew and I to celebrate our 7th year of marriage. Another year of learning to be good, kind spouses, of trying to be the best life partners we can through God's grace. Another year of falling in love with one another, of doing our best to support one another.
Cheers to you, 2013. 2014 has a lot to live up to.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
christmas
It's been a magical week. Celebrating Christmas, the birth of our Lord, is always the best time of the year. The time with family, the beautiful music, the delicious food, seeing the joy of children as they discover their new treasures on Christmas morning--there's really nothing like it. And this year, we were blessed to celebrate from two perspectives. The twins were Christmas-obsessed this year. From ho-ho lights, to ho-ho trees, to the ho-ho man himself, B&F have been overflowing with Christmas spirit. Watching them anticipate the big day, seeing them learn that Christmas is Jesus' birthday, was a new and indescribable experience. At the same time, though, nothing really compares to a baby's first Christmas. Sharing my favorite holiday with Shepherd for the first time was such a privilege. Getting Shepherd's first Christmas ornament, telling him the nativity story for the first time...these are moments I will treasure forever.
As always with three under three, things weren't always picture perfect. Shepherd managed to poop himself, my dress, and the church floor during communion on Christmas Eve. While decorating Jesus' birthday cake, B&F decided to eat icing by the handful directly off the cake, leaving the cake looking more like the surface of the moon than a kodak-ready dessert. There were meltdowns and boo-boos and moments of extreme overstimulation. But in the midst of it all, this Christmas more than ever before I was struck over and over again by how much God must love us.
We say it so often--God sent his Son to earth--that maybe it loses its power at times. You see, God sent Jesus here, to our world, to be born as an infant. Jesus was a newborn. He was squishy and had that adorable newborn not-quite-cry. He and Mary had to figure out breastfeeding and sleeping and all the other things new families muddle through. And God watched all of this. He saw his little boy, who I realize he already loved fully, as a newborn baby. And I can't help but imagine that He fell in love with His son just a tiny bit more. And Jesus was a toddler. He wobbled as he learned to walk, he bumped his head on everything in sight. He began uttering words, then stringing words into sentences that probably only his parents could understand. And God watched...and fell in love a teeny bit more. God watched his precious Son grow from a tiny baby into a man, all the while knowing his fate. Through every sweet moment, God knew that Jesus was destined to be killed.
As I watched my three kids this Christmas, nearly paralyzed by my love for them, this fact kept running through my mind. God sent his precious newborn son to us that first Christmas day knowing how the story would end. I know the depth of a parent's love. I know the future I hope for for my little ones. God must love us so very, very deeply.
Merry Christmas.
As always with three under three, things weren't always picture perfect. Shepherd managed to poop himself, my dress, and the church floor during communion on Christmas Eve. While decorating Jesus' birthday cake, B&F decided to eat icing by the handful directly off the cake, leaving the cake looking more like the surface of the moon than a kodak-ready dessert. There were meltdowns and boo-boos and moments of extreme overstimulation. But in the midst of it all, this Christmas more than ever before I was struck over and over again by how much God must love us.
We say it so often--God sent his Son to earth--that maybe it loses its power at times. You see, God sent Jesus here, to our world, to be born as an infant. Jesus was a newborn. He was squishy and had that adorable newborn not-quite-cry. He and Mary had to figure out breastfeeding and sleeping and all the other things new families muddle through. And God watched all of this. He saw his little boy, who I realize he already loved fully, as a newborn baby. And I can't help but imagine that He fell in love with His son just a tiny bit more. And Jesus was a toddler. He wobbled as he learned to walk, he bumped his head on everything in sight. He began uttering words, then stringing words into sentences that probably only his parents could understand. And God watched...and fell in love a teeny bit more. God watched his precious Son grow from a tiny baby into a man, all the while knowing his fate. Through every sweet moment, God knew that Jesus was destined to be killed.
As I watched my three kids this Christmas, nearly paralyzed by my love for them, this fact kept running through my mind. God sent his precious newborn son to us that first Christmas day knowing how the story would end. I know the depth of a parent's love. I know the future I hope for for my little ones. God must love us so very, very deeply.
Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
3 months
As of yesterday, my little Shepherd is 3 months old! It's hard to believe that a quarter of a year has already passed...the months are going so quickly this time.
Shepherd is so very strong and alert. He loves to look around, and especially loves to watch his brother & sister. His favorite thing is to lie flat on the couch with either mom or dad looking over him talking to him. He is already ticklish, and he has graced us with a few sweet giggles, which is pretty much the best sound ever. When he's happy, he's very happy, beaming with giant gummy smiles. He is starting to love the play mat, and can even manage to grab the ring toys sometimes. He is very tolerant of B&F's antics, for which we are very thankful. And he loves for mom to sing him the itsy bitsy spider.
A week ago, he weighed 12 pounds 7 ounces. At that point we were able to increase his reflux medication, and that has made such a difference in his demeanor. He is so much happier! It is wonderful to know that he is in less pain...seeing him hurt is so very hard on us.
We are incredibly thankful for this adorable little man. He is oh so precious, and we couldn't be more in love.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
our advent art
It's advent. God tells us that advent is a time of waiting, being still, preparing our hearts for the Lord. Pinterest and facebook, however, tell a different story. If you follow many moms on social media, you know that advent has become a peak season in the world of competitive parenting. Preparing for Christmas is filled with purchasing perfect red outfits, getting the best Santa photo, and of course creating pinterest worthy crafts with our little ones. After all, it's not Christmas without a handmade felt tree and a perfect reindeer footprint.
Now there is nothing inherently wrong with any of these activities. Sharing the magic of Santa as you wait in line to meet him, spending time sitting together and creating a Christmas craft, these are good things. These are some great moments in parenting. The problem creeps in when we are too focused on choosing an instagram filter to notice how amazed our toddler is by the texture of cotton balls. Or even worse, when we fail to even try to make a special moment because we know our effort won't look like anything on our "holiday" pinterest board.
As a recovering perfectionist, this is one of my struggles: learning that B&F don't need a picture perfect effort, that they are so proud of the result no matter how crazy it looks. But with three under three, I'm learning to embrace their perspective a bit more. As advent began this year, I browsed through all the adorable things I had pinned over the year. And then I returned to real life. So for our first advent art project, we made cookies. Slice and bakes, to be exact. I sliced them onto a cookie sheet and let the twins cover them in store-bought Christmas sprinkles. And....they loved it! For the 15 minutes we were decorating those cookies and talking about how we cook things, they thought I was an awesome mom. Our next advent art was painting ornaments....that I bought at the craft store. I literally peeled a sticker off each ornament and plopped out some finger paint. And the twins were AMAZED. So far, other projects have included decorating paper trees and ornaments from the Target dollar section, coloring pages from our Christmas coloring book, and literally gluing cotton balls onto a purple piece of paper (this was snow art on the day it snowed, and was actually a crowd favorite). Trust me when I say that none of these would be pin-worthy. Not even close. But my kids loved each project. They loved having me sit at their mini table. They loved having my full attention. They loved talking about Christmas and trees and ornaments and Jesus' birthday. And isn't that the point? Isn't the point of this season to slow down enough to love our family well, to treasure the gifts God has given us, to take the time to talk to our little ones about precious baby Jesus.
So mommy friends, remember that your kids don't need a pinterest Christmas. They just need you. If your reindeer rolo/pretzel creations turn out less than recognizable, who cares! Kids enjoy the process, not the result, and we would be wise to remember that. In fact, perhaps we should ban pictures of crafting results, and instead only capture those precious process moments. The way our little ones look when they are trying to figure out the perfect place for their next spot of glue. Their pride when they pour sprinkles on their cookies all by themselves. The way their face lights up when you tell them how much dad will love seeing their latest creation when he gets home from work. Perhaps there should be a pinterest board for that.
Now there is nothing inherently wrong with any of these activities. Sharing the magic of Santa as you wait in line to meet him, spending time sitting together and creating a Christmas craft, these are good things. These are some great moments in parenting. The problem creeps in when we are too focused on choosing an instagram filter to notice how amazed our toddler is by the texture of cotton balls. Or even worse, when we fail to even try to make a special moment because we know our effort won't look like anything on our "holiday" pinterest board.
As a recovering perfectionist, this is one of my struggles: learning that B&F don't need a picture perfect effort, that they are so proud of the result no matter how crazy it looks. But with three under three, I'm learning to embrace their perspective a bit more. As advent began this year, I browsed through all the adorable things I had pinned over the year. And then I returned to real life. So for our first advent art project, we made cookies. Slice and bakes, to be exact. I sliced them onto a cookie sheet and let the twins cover them in store-bought Christmas sprinkles. And....they loved it! For the 15 minutes we were decorating those cookies and talking about how we cook things, they thought I was an awesome mom. Our next advent art was painting ornaments....that I bought at the craft store. I literally peeled a sticker off each ornament and plopped out some finger paint. And the twins were AMAZED. So far, other projects have included decorating paper trees and ornaments from the Target dollar section, coloring pages from our Christmas coloring book, and literally gluing cotton balls onto a purple piece of paper (this was snow art on the day it snowed, and was actually a crowd favorite). Trust me when I say that none of these would be pin-worthy. Not even close. But my kids loved each project. They loved having me sit at their mini table. They loved having my full attention. They loved talking about Christmas and trees and ornaments and Jesus' birthday. And isn't that the point? Isn't the point of this season to slow down enough to love our family well, to treasure the gifts God has given us, to take the time to talk to our little ones about precious baby Jesus.
So mommy friends, remember that your kids don't need a pinterest Christmas. They just need you. If your reindeer rolo/pretzel creations turn out less than recognizable, who cares! Kids enjoy the process, not the result, and we would be wise to remember that. In fact, perhaps we should ban pictures of crafting results, and instead only capture those precious process moments. The way our little ones look when they are trying to figure out the perfect place for their next spot of glue. Their pride when they pour sprinkles on their cookies all by themselves. The way their face lights up when you tell them how much dad will love seeing their latest creation when he gets home from work. Perhaps there should be a pinterest board for that.
Friday, December 13, 2013
santa!
Despite the twins' obsession with all things Santa, they were still terrified to see the big guy in person. Mom & Dad were forced to be part of this year's picture and we still couldn't manage pleasant faces. Nonetheless, it was a successful meeting. Shep thought Santa was super fun, and B&F talked to him a bit from a distance after the picture, telling him they wanted toys and confirming that they like trains and dolls. And they are loving looking at their "ho ho" picture, so perhaps they enjoyed it more than their faces imply.
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