Tuesday, January 21, 2014

"God made my"

Watching a little person learn to speak is amazing.  Seeing them move from little noises to words, from one word to two, then three, then sentences--it's as if you can literally see them figuring things out.

While working on our colors and numbers and songs, we try to throw in a little preschool theology.  We're never sure exactly what the twins understand, but we do our best to explain some basics.  One recurring lesson is that God made everything.  We ask who made the sun/moon/water/plants/etc., and the twins respond God.  I'm never sure if they actually think that's the answer, or if they have figured out that God is usually a good guess when they don't otherwise know.  But today, all that preschool theology paid off in the most beautiful three words.

As we were playing in the twins room reading books about animals, I asked them who made the moon.  Their response: God.  Then I asked who made them.  And B declared, so confidently and proudly, "God made my."  The pronoun may have been a little off, but the sentiment was oh so on.  Yes, my love.  God made you.  God made you spunky and goofy.  He made you a sweet cuddler.  He placed that rough and tumble yet oh so tender soul in your adorable body.  He made you unique and alive.  And he made you mine.  God made my Barnes.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

4 months

Age: 4 months

Interests: playing with my toes, sucking on my hands, my play mat and play gym, Sophie the giraffe, bottles, taking naps that are far too short, the sound of the bathroom fan

Dislikes: tummy time, mom trying to starve me by not giving me bottles every 20 minutes, mom and dad trying to kick me out of their room

Sunday, January 12, 2014

one year ago today...

Precious little Shepherd,

We learned about you a year ago today. One year ago I was getting ready to drive to Nashville, and knowing that I would likely be drinking that evening, decided to take a pregnancy test. I really had no reason to think I was pregnant--I had been dizzy a few times during the week, but all signs pointed to no baby on board. But something told me to check. For some reason, I just felt pregnant. So on a cold Saturday morning in West Lafayette, Indiana, mom called dad to the master bathroom and handed him a little plastic stick that said mom was pregnant. I will never forget the immediate smile that spread across your dad's face when the news registered--his face was pure joy. And then he laughed. While dad was laughing, I began to cry. But Shepherd, please know that I didn't cry out of sadness. No, those tears poured over from the immense love for you that had already filled my heart. You see, dad and I wanted you so very deeply. We prayed that you would join our family, and it was hard to believe that you were really on your way to us. It was so hard to believe, in fact, that mom stopped every few hours along the way to Nashville, taking additional pregnancy tests and sending dad pictures of each. I couldn't get enough of that beautiful second line!

Over the past year, we have loved and protected you as well as we know how. Sheltering you while you developed inside me was such a privilege. Welcoming you to the world was indescribable, and watching you grow and change over the past three and a half months has been a joy. You are a treasure, my son.

I love you so very much, Mom

Thursday, January 2, 2014


I know I've mentioned that Shepherd is a bit of a cryer, but this sweet boy can also light up the room with his smile.  Here's proof that sometimes he really is happy: