Friday, August 28, 2015


Barnes and Frances,

A few days ago you turned four. Four. I keep saying it to myself, and yet it still doesn't seem real. How can my tiny babies be four? But it is real. You are definitely four, and in spite of the shock of that number, I am loving sharing this age with you.

You are funny, precocious, giving, kind, energetic, playful, and generally a blast to be around. The days that once always felt long now have a different feel to them, as you keep our whole family busy and entertained. Just today I was thinking about your baby days, when I would literally go a whole day without truly talking to anyone. Now we talk all day long...there is barely a quiet moment between your stories, questions, songs and games.

You are both such sweet siblings. To baby Ellis, you are gentle and helpful. To Shepherd, you are (mostly) patient and inclusive. And to each other, you are best friends. Soulmates. Two parts of the same whole.

Barnes, your imagination is incredible. I can never guess what you will come up with next. Your first and favorite joke is: "Knock knock, who's there, don't cry it's Easter." You say every part, and sometimes you and Frances insert a different phrase or word for Easter. You truly crack yourself up. B, your feelings are so big. When you love, it's giant...when you hurt, it's giant. I love your sensitive spirit and pray that we can foster that as you grow. You give the best hugs in the world--you wrap your whole body, arms and legs, as tight as possible around me and I just melt. Your smile is infectious. When you play and build, you are so very meticulous. I love seeing the zoos and houses and libraries and restaurants and fire stations you create. You have grand plans in your head and work so hard to see them come to fruition.

Frances, you are our nurturer. You already exhibit incredible kindness and empathy, two of the traits I would most want you to have if I could choose. When anyone around you is sad, you feel it. It's beautiful. You love taking care of your baby, who you have named "Kitty Cat Kitty Cat Frances Frances." Yes, that is one name. Of course it is. You feed her, change her, put her down for naps and for bed. She comes in her carseat nearly everywhere we go. Frances, you love all things girl, and you love all things boy. I am so thankful that you don't limit yourself. When the boys all had robot shirts, you just had to have one too--but you wanted it to be pink and purple, which was quite a tall order (don't worry, we had one custom made). You are everyone's favorite sibling--you are so kind and caring to each of your brothers, and they adore you. Shepherd especially is your little companion right now. Your sweet, tender spirit is amazing, and I pray that you will always keep that precious softness that draws people in.

My twins, I love being your mom. You will never know what a joy you are to me. One day if you have kids of your own and realize you love them so much it hurts your heart, know that I love you in just that way. You are so precious to me, and our days together are irreplaceable. As you grow more into your selves, I am loving getting to know you. Finding out who you are, who you are growing into, what you enjoy and what makes you smile are the treasures of my day.

Thank you for sharing your days with me. I pray that I can be a source of love, comfort and encouragement as we continue to grow together.



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