nanny and poppy

Even as an adult, your parents can sometimes continue teaching you. You may not agree on everything in life--your personhood is now more separated and you have a family of your own--but there are still sweet lessons to be found.

I am so very thankful for the way my parents grandparent my children. It's a joy to watch them be intentional, to watch them show up time after time for both the important and the mundane. To see my kids' faces light up when Nana & Papa (or Nanny and Poppy as they've become) show up for birthday parties and soccer games and Christmas programs and random lunches. I am learning from their relationship that the best way to show love really is time. That physical presence can mean so much. I am grateful for these lessons, and most grateful for the ways my kids are benefitting from them.

my three-year-old sunshine

Sweet Shepherd,

You are three. You are crazy and wild and fun and adorable, and you are three.

You've grown up so much this year. You no longer just repeat things that the twins say--you make up entire stories all on your own. You talk and sing all day long. My favorites are "Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun" and "You are My Sunshine."

You love Cooper. You stalk him around the house and just want to lay your hand on him. You will sit and silently pet him for so long, you completely happy and Cooper a bit terrified.

You think you are as big as Barnes & Frances. You get so upset when they get to do something you can't. And for the most part, you totally keep up with them. You think their friends are your friends, and you get confused when things are separated based on age. Barnes & Frances are your very favorite people.

You're a little scared of Ellis. He bit you once, and for some reason every time he gets near you you start screaming and running, saying he's trying to bite you. You hate having to share with him and hide your toys from him.

You LOVE Belle. You love all things yellow, so her yellow dress makes her a hands-down favorite. The night before your birthday, you told me you wanted a Belle tea set. This was the very first I had heard about this, but knowing how much you love Belle, we made it happen. Now you dance through the house pushing your Belle tea cart, singing Be Our Guest and pouring a cup of tea into Chip.

You are the very pickiest eater. You say you will only eat macaroni and cheese, cheerios, and quesadillas, and you really don't eat too much more than that.

You are stubborn. You truly understand the power of no. You have all out refused to potty train.

You love construction, movies, soccer, TV characters, gymboree, bubbles, m&ms, ring pops, and performing. You like to wear your sunshine shirt.

You make everyone you meet smile. You have a unique charisma, and people fall in love with you.

You warm our hearts and make our family so much more special. We are so thankful to have been chosen to be your mom and dad. We love you immensely and cannot wait to see where your contagious spirit takes you in life!

Mom

Shepherd's Trolley Party!

A few months ago, Shepherd saw a trolley out and about and suddenly remembered that the twins had a trolley party once, so he just HAD to have a trolley party too. When Shepherd wants a trolley, he gets a trolley, so this past weekend we celebrated our middle love with a big Daniel Tiger themed festivity.

This party turned out to be SO MUCH FUN. We had an awesome face-painter, which was a huge hit with all the kids. Shepherd and Barnes turned into ninja turtles, while Frances became a princess. There was a hot dog cart, bounce house fun, the cutest cake, and most importantly, trolley rides! Shepherd went on all three loops, and the kids got a dance party going aboard after the last round. It was completely adorable!

Shepherd was adamant about three things this year: 1) he wanted yellow in the decorations, since that's his favorite color; 2) he wanted the trolley to look like Daniel Tiger's trolley; and 3) he REALLY wanted to invite his own school friends. He got all three things, and he never stopped smiling. Pretty sure Shepherd felt very celebrated and loved as he gets ready to turn three.

we love daniel tiger

happy birthday, sweet shepherd

five

Barnes and Frances-

Last week you turned five. A whole hand. This one hit me hard--I seriously cannot believe that my sweet baby twins are five. But I have to say, life with two five-year-olds is pretty amazing.

You guys are so much fun right now. You're witty and engaging. You love games, you make up stories. You can actually have conversations (though the questions you ask can be quite entertaining, i.e., "How do grown-ups play with each other?"). You dance and do gymnastics and run all through the house all day long. You just started soccer, your first team sport, and so far you are loving it. I love seeing your confidence grow each day, seeing you realize your independence bit by bit.

Barnes, you are my artist. You could sit and create all day. You love to draw, paint, color, do play-doh, cut, glue. And you're really, really good. You make little masterpieces every day. I love how determined you are, how insistent you are that the finished product be just the way you see it in your head. I am captivated by your creative spirit. B, your little brain is growing so much right now. Just the other day, you read me a whole book. You soak up everything around you. You love school, and you are always so excited to see your friends. You have the sweetest, most tender little spirit. I love the way you love with your whole heart.

Frances, you are a character these days. You are goofy and funny. You love to dance and make silly faces and different voices. You're getting into accessories, and on your birthday you wore five different necklaces to lunch. I love that you're growing your own little sense of style. You are still quite the little mama. You love your baby dolls so much--Kitty Cat Kitty Cat Frances Frances, Ava, and Suzy. You take great care of them, and you help me take care of your baby brothers. I am pretty sure you think Ellis is one of your dolls. You are a little social butterfly--you love friends and love school. You are always taking in the environment around you and are starting to sound like such a grown up. I love your precious heart, your sweet spirit, and your innate inclusivity.

Sweet little ones, I love you so very much. And I don't just love you...I really, really enjoy our days together. You are so fun to be around. Yes, you have your moments (and your days) when you're a little tough to parent, but overall you're both pretty amazing.

Sometimes I wonder about the three babies your dad and I lost. I get sad thinking that I'll never know them. But here's the thing--you were most definitely made for me and your dad. You are the perfect children for us, our perfect firstborns. God knit our family together in His perfect and mysterious way, and I am so very grateful to be your mom. I love that I get to be on this beautiful journey with the two of you.

Mom

five-aroo

Many months ago, Frances and Barnes decided they wanted a local kids' musician to play at their birthday party this year, so we got busy planning their very own music festival-- FIVE-AROO. We had the best day celebrating with friends and grandparents. From the concert to the snow cone truck, from necklaces and headbands to tattoos, the twins' fifth birthday party was one to remember. The best part was watching them feel special. Throughout the day, their faces were shining. And even a quick downpour as we finished singing Happy Birthday couldn't dampen the fun!

lots of singing and dancing and playing with friends

feathers, selfie booth, and microphones= fun

so thankful to have Nana, Papa, and Gigi here to celebrate!

"my daughter's mother"

Little ones,

A few days ago history was made. For the first time in our country's 200 plus year history, a woman became the presidential nominee of a major party. Now, I try not to project my political leanings onto you. Maybe you'll grow up and be all "mom supported Hillary Clinton????" But no matter your eventual politics, I hope to raise you in such a way that you appreciate what this means for us. For Frances and myself as women. For my boys, as the brothers and friends and possible partners of women. For our whole nation, and really our world.

During her speech, Secretary Clinton stated: "When there are no ceilings, the sky's the limit." Little ones, I hope that you realize that your dreams, hard work, and the benefits you've been given in this life can take you far--farther than you can currently imagine. As you move towards your dreams, though, I pray that you are aware of and grateful for the ones who came before you, the ones who made your path a little smoother and straighter. The ones who plowed down the hills a bit so that your trip would be less treacherous.

As she accepted the nomination, Clinton said: "Standing here as my mother's daughter, and my daughter's mother, I'm so happy this day has come. Happy for grandmothers and little girls and everyone in between." As the mother of a little girl, I am so thankful for trailblazers like Hillary Clinton. I am thankful that, in your short lives, you have seen a black man as president and now a woman as a major candidate (and hopefully soon filling the oval office). I am thankful that the people you see in power are already far more diverse than the images I saw in my childhood. I pray that these images permeate your being. I hope you know that we are all equal and capable and powerful. I hope you know that a person's value can never be limited by their gender or race or religion or sexual orientation or employment status or wealth or educational level. And I pray I am doing my best to impart these lessons.

I love you four so incredibly much. I cannot wait to see what limits you push in your life and where your dreams take you. 

Mom

what's in a name: ellis andrew

For each of our children, we've chosen to use family names for both their first and middle names. We like the idea that, while each child's name is unique and his or her own, it also serves as a link to the past, a reminder of the many people who lived and loved and laid the path for our family today. And so, the story of Ellis Andrew.

Ellis

Ellis is an old surname on the Coulter (Andrew's mom's) side. The most recent Ellis was Earl Ellis Coulter, Andrew's great grandfather. Earl Ellis lived in Chattanooga, was born in 1898, and died in 1946. We don't have lots of information about him. We know he was a firefighter, and was apparently a fire chief at the time of his death. We have heard that he may not have been the greatest husband, as it appears that his marriage was not quite intact when he died. We know that his mother was Minnie Ellis Coulter, and her father was Robertis Hamilton Ellis. While we don't know all that much about the Ellises, we know that they are an integral part of the line that led us to our Ellis, so perhaps they had adorable smiles and mischievous spirits.

Earl Ellis Coulter

Andrew

Anyone who knows my Andrew knows why we chose this name. For two sons, Andrew fought against using his own name, saying that the passing down of a name was something that should be earned, something our children could do if they so chose. But on boy number three I finally won. And here's the thing--Andrew has most definitely already earned it.

Andrew Aaron Shafer is, quite simply, the most magnificent person I have ever met. He loves God, his family, his friends, and everyone he meets with a rare purity and fierceness. He gives of himself and his time so freely, never expecting a return on his investment. Serving others comes naturally to him.

Andrew is the most loving, loyal husband. He loves me in a way I could never deserve. He leads our family with grace, humility and compassion.

And as a dad, Andrew is unmatched. Andrew was made to be a dad. Our kids adore him. He is fun and playful and devoted and tender and all the things a parent should be. He is a completely equal partner in this parenting journey. He's changed at least as many diapers as me, and has me beaten by a mile in middle of the night visits to kids' rooms. Every morning, Andrew gets up and does breakfast with the little ones, and every night he wrangles them through the bath time process--it's their special daddy time, time they treasure, and time that I know fills them and molds them in an invaluable way.

Ellis already idolizes his dad, and I feel certain that he will be proud to share a name with him.