five

Barnes and Frances-

Last week you turned five. A whole hand. This one hit me hard--I seriously cannot believe that my sweet baby twins are five. But I have to say, life with two five-year-olds is pretty amazing.

You guys are so much fun right now. You're witty and engaging. You love games, you make up stories. You can actually have conversations (though the questions you ask can be quite entertaining, i.e., "How do grown-ups play with each other?"). You dance and do gymnastics and run all through the house all day long. You just started soccer, your first team sport, and so far you are loving it. I love seeing your confidence grow each day, seeing you realize your independence bit by bit.

Barnes, you are my artist. You could sit and create all day. You love to draw, paint, color, do play-doh, cut, glue. And you're really, really good. You make little masterpieces every day. I love how determined you are, how insistent you are that the finished product be just the way you see it in your head. I am captivated by your creative spirit. B, your little brain is growing so much right now. Just the other day, you read me a whole book. You soak up everything around you. You love school, and you are always so excited to see your friends. You have the sweetest, most tender little spirit. I love the way you love with your whole heart.

Frances, you are a character these days. You are goofy and funny. You love to dance and make silly faces and different voices. You're getting into accessories, and on your birthday you wore five different necklaces to lunch. I love that you're growing your own little sense of style. You are still quite the little mama. You love your baby dolls so much--Kitty Cat Kitty Cat Frances Frances, Ava, and Suzy. You take great care of them, and you help me take care of your baby brothers. I am pretty sure you think Ellis is one of your dolls. You are a little social butterfly--you love friends and love school. You are always taking in the environment around you and are starting to sound like such a grown up. I love your precious heart, your sweet spirit, and your innate inclusivity.

Sweet little ones, I love you so very much. And I don't just love you...I really, really enjoy our days together. You are so fun to be around. Yes, you have your moments (and your days) when you're a little tough to parent, but overall you're both pretty amazing.

Sometimes I wonder about the three babies your dad and I lost. I get sad thinking that I'll never know them. But here's the thing--you were most definitely made for me and your dad. You are the perfect children for us, our perfect firstborns. God knit our family together in His perfect and mysterious way, and I am so very grateful to be your mom. I love that I get to be on this beautiful journey with the two of you.

Mom