old and new

I feel like I'm seven and it's Christmas Eve.  Only this is so much better.  Knowing that I will meet our new son in less than 72 hours is the most amazing feeling...I'm anxious, excited, in awe, and generally just wired.  And I can't stop monogramming. 

Really, though, this is the most unique feeling.  I know that on Monday morning I will wake up, shower, head to the hospital, then soon be holding my son.  So many great things in life are sprung on us.  The births of our children usually come at least a bit by surprise, timing wise.  But the ability to anticipate this, the gift this little boy has given us of waiting until his scheduled arrival time, is so sweet.  I pray I am always able to remember the way these few days felt, the joyful anticipation pending his birth.

With new beginnings, though, things must inevitably change.  Today, while bubbling over with excitement, I've also felt some sadness in my mommy heart.  This was my last regular day with just Barnes and Frances.  This is the last day I could give the twins my full, undivided (yet always divided) attention.  For two years, I have been nothing but a mom to my two babies.  In those sometimes long days yet incredibly fast years, they have taught me oh so much.  They have shown me that it's okay to be good enough, that it's okay for our perfectly made plans to fall through, that it's okay to not always be punctual to story hour.  Because of them, I know that it's normal to thrive one hour and be barely surviving the next.  These two took the woman who said she would never be a stay-at-home mom and made her never want to be anything else.  They have transformed my very heart. 

We had the perfect send-off to our time as a threesome this afternoon.  The 95 degree weather broke, so we spent a lovely 65 degree afternoon playing at the park, eating ice cream, and walking our little dogs--all of our favorite things.  Now we have the weekend to soak up some family time before the big event on Monday morning.  Barnes & Frances, I have loved spending my days with you the last two years, and I can't wait to spend many more together.  And baby boy, I am so thrilled to be adding you to the mix.