five years

Five years ago today, Andrew and I entered into the sacrament of marriage. A sacrament points us towards what is sacred and significant. Through the sacraments, we are able to experience God's saving presence and grace. During the past five years of trying to love Andrew well and attempting to allow him to love me back, my understanding of what is good and right has grown immensely.

On July 15, 2006, we pledged our lives to each other with childlike excitement about what the future held. We anticipated a life full of love, excitement, passion, fun, children (eventually), and happiness. We knew, of course, that there would be less than great times, but as we said our vows we were more focused on the "for better" than the "for worse." Thankfully, we have had more good times than bad. We have had the opportunity to travel together, to experience new things together, to ride our bikes 100 miles though wine country together. We have enjoyed exciting moments, driving down roads too narrow to hold two cars in northern Italy, and quiet moments, reading together on the porch on Sunday mornings. While the good days have been innumerable, today I am thankful for the hard days in our marriage.

The past year, this fifth year of our lives together, was the hardest year of my life. It was not, however, the hardest year of our marriage. With every failed treatment, every loss, every doctor's appointment, we banded together more strongly than before. Andrew saw me at my very worst, and loved me anyway. When it was unclear whether I could ever give him biological children, Andrew, a man who has known he wanted kids for as long as he can remember, told me he would marry me a thousand times over. Today, as we prepare for our twins' arrival in less than ten weeks, we are more closely bonded than we ever imagined five years ago. For that, I am eternally grateful.

Happy Fifth Anniversary, Andrew. I love you so much always.